Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A New Shade of Green

I was talking to a friend of mine last night about being jealous of another person.  I recently noticed some beautiful compliments paid to a very sweet friend, well deserving of said compliments.  I was getting more and more frustrated, though, because I realized how jealous I was.  I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, I wish someone thought that of me” or “I wish I was more like them” and other things of that nature.

Before, if you had asked me if I was a jealous person, I would have said that was not one of my weaknesses.  I would have said that I want what other people have, but not that I wanted to take it from them, so that couldn’t be considered jealousy, right?  Unfortunately, I was mistaken.  Not only was I jealous of that person, but I was also deceiving myself into thinking I was better or more spiritually mature than I actually was. 

Recognizing that recent jealousy of my sweet friend has really made me aware of an attitude I never thought I had.  I’ve sometimes been a “why me?” person, and isn’t that just an attitude that stems from being jealous of others’ circumstances?  When others are successful with something which I have attempted and failed, I’ll often ask God why I am not being blessed in the same way.  Like, somehow bringing God into it makes it not jealousy.  Wow, I have been deluded!

The way to overcome that, I guess, is to be content in all circumstances and to be satisfied with the things God has uniquely given to me (looks, personality, etc).  Definitely something I need to work on!

1 comment:

  1. I,too, have been faced with jealousy when thinking I wasn't a jealous person. I think that it flares up from time to time to remind us that we are human and that we need to turn to God to help us through our lives and that we can't depend on ourselves to remain "good."