I was talking to a friend of mine last night about being jealous of another person. I recently noticed some beautiful compliments paid to a very sweet friend, well deserving of said compliments. I was getting more and more frustrated, though, because I realized how jealous I was. I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, I wish someone thought that of me” or “I wish I was more like them” and other things of that nature.
Before, if you had asked me if I was a jealous person, I would have said that was not one of my weaknesses. I would have said that I want what other people have, but not that I wanted to take it from them, so that couldn’t be considered jealousy, right? Unfortunately, I was mistaken. Not only was I jealous of that person, but I was also deceiving myself into thinking I was better or more spiritually mature than I actually was.
Recognizing that recent jealousy of my sweet friend has really made me aware of an attitude I never thought I had. I’ve sometimes been a “why me?” person, and isn’t that just an attitude that stems from being jealous of others’ circumstances? When others are successful with something which I have attempted and failed, I’ll often ask God why I am not being blessed in the same way. Like, somehow bringing God into it makes it not jealousy. Wow, I have been deluded!
The way to overcome that, I guess, is to be content in all circumstances and to be satisfied with the things God has uniquely given to me (looks, personality, etc). Definitely something I need to work on!