Friday, May 27, 2011

Insecure? Who, me?

I have been reading Beth Moore’s book “So Long, Insecurity.”  Wow!  It’s funny the way that things come into our lives just when we need them, even though we aren’t sure we needed them at the time.  Am I right?  I have a couple hours every day when I take Marco to a daily appointment and just find things to do for two hours.  There’s a Weir’s Furniture nearby and they have a “Christian Book Nook” and the cutest little country store you’ve ever seen.  I was browsing the books the other day, wanting something beneficial to read, and saw this book by Beth Moore.  She had several books on the shelf but this one jumped out at me.  And the funny thing is, I never really considered myself insecure, but something told me I needed this book.  So, I bought it.

The first half of the book is recognizing what insecurity is.  She quotes different specialists’ definitions of insecurity.  In a nutshell, insecurity is self-doubt, self-consciousness, fear of rejection, uncertainty about whether your feelings or desires are legitimate.  Um, yes, that’s me.  She points out “…insecurity is not the same thing as sensitivity… Not everyone who is sensitive is insecure, but make no mistake: everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault.  Confusingly, these are often people who can dish out all sorts of things they can’t take.”  Um, hello!  Read ya loud and clear.  I need this book!

There are lots of examples of what this insecurity looks like and how it affects our relationships and our trust in God.  One thing that really struck me was about helping other people.  On the surface, helping others is always a good thing, right?  Well, yes, except when you help them so much that they are incapable of helping themselves.  Sometimes that is our insecurity being shown by “playing God” in our relationships with others.  Can we not trust God to do the work in them that he needs to do?  He uses his people to do his work, but there comes a point where you are no longer doing his work, but getting in the way of his work.  Ah, I am not saying it nearly as clearly as the book did, but that point really stuck with me.  I’m the kind of person that just wants to get in there and “fix it.” So it was something I needed to hear.

The last half of the book deals with how to overcome this insecurity.  She has a lot to say, but one “exercise” was to think about the thing we are insecure about (for me, it’s most often the fear of rejection in just talking to people!) and then let our minds keep going to what the worst case scenario would be.  What do we envision happening? and then what?  and then what? …and then what?  If you keep asking this question, you’ll eventually get to an end point.  For me, no matter what the situation is, I get to the end point and then think, “and I’ll just keep on keepin’ on because I already know God has brought me through much worse.”  And then it’s okay, then I can get over myself and who cares if that person rejects what I’m saying?  I just finished the book yesterday and already it’s helped so much with my fears.  I even answered the phone when a number I didn’t know called today.  Hello?!  Big step!!!

Obviously, I recommend this book to any woman who has the time to read it, even if you don’t think *you* are insecure.  You might be able to help someone else who is. J

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